Eureka… ! (Phew)

I just had an epiphany. πŸ™‚

I’ve been in a shocking grump since yesterday evening.

Yesterday morning, the sun was shining for the first time in what feels like forever. I was beginning to think we had moved to Narnia – the land of interminable winter. But the sun didn’t so much stream as positively gush through the window and I stretched into it and felt instantly energised. I was positive, buzzing, happy… But by the evening, the grump of the previous day had returned.

I can list my grievances: the cold is back, it is snowing again, I have two very poorly people at home and feel rather run ragged, I’m tired (when my alarm went off this morning, I was more asleep than I have been in an age). And on a bigger scale, my family situation is more screwed up than any I have heard of, other than in books giving extreme examples of how wrong families can go…

So, I was hanging out the laundry this morning, with that catalogue of disaster running through my head. On loop. Again and again and again. And above it all I clearly remember these two sentences registering:

“I feel like I’m on a fucking rollercoaster. I hate it.”

“So get off. “

Now I read and listen to people I admire and respect speaking about the power of thought all. the. time. And intellectually I get it. I totally understand that your thoughts can change your life. That what you think is what you become. After all, the man in my life had begun to cower in a corner as I quite literally became my grump. My head was aching, my brow knit, my shoulders slumped.

But I’m not kidding – when I heard those words (which I guess I thought to myself anyway, huh?) “So get off.” it was as though a lightbulb had switched on over my head.

I got off.

The headache lifted that instant.

I straightened up, smiled. It had gone.

I remember reading both Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie talking about moments of total turnaround. I suspect theirs were much more profound and life-altering, and permanent. I’m not claiming for an instant to have cracked it.

But for today, at least, my world has changed.

And isn’t today all we have?

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7 responses to “Eureka… ! (Phew)

  • juliedemboski

    Hi Alice,
    What you had WAS a profound experience–you lived the power of your own mind to change your life. Few people undergo that, and even fewer realize it when they do πŸ™‚
    xo
    jd

  • maria

    Allowing a situation to manipulate your reality, is almost immediate – isn’t it? But you saw it…you saw the power it was wielding and you stopped it! It takes a strong effort on one’s part to say – No! no more of this! Good for you Alice!!! m.

    • Alice

      Thank you, Maria πŸ™‚
      Recognising compulsions is part of the journey, huh? But some are more resistant to discovery than others! x

  • hersixthcircle

    I love this! Oh, I have missed reading your posts. I had a similar epiphany recently, and it feels so good. The funny thing, though, is that I can’t seem to just MAKE these things happen. It’s like my mind has to finally say “enough” or something, and then it clicks!

    • Alice

      That was *exactly* my experience. Like it had just reached capacity. Get off or explode.
      I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it *still* seems to be even-keeled in my world. πŸ™‚
      But, as Wayne Dyer said on a recording I was listening to yesterday: “One day at a time”. His example made so much sense to me. If you say to yourself “I will never have another cigarette as long as I live!” it’s a heckuva long time, a very difficult prospect. But if you say “Today, I will not smoke” (for example – I gave up 14 years ago, so it is just an example πŸ˜‰ ) and then deal with the next day from the vantage point of someone who has successfully resisted for 24 hours, the situation looks very different. And the negative has become positive.
      Love it.
      (Good to hear from you) x

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