I have been struggling for a couple of days.
A few things have come to light that have dragged me painfully back to the past and sucked me through the wringer…
…because I have allowed them to.
This morning, I completed the morning ritual as usual: got up, located any underwear my small people needed locating for them, chivvied them along into dressing and coming downstairs for breakfast, made porridge, toast, packed lunches, scurried one off to the bus-stop and the others off to their primary school, came home, hung out the washing and… descended into a bit of a pit.
I sat here in a black stupor, achieving nothing, going round in dark circles in my head.
Then I had a bootstrap moment. You know? The “fake it till you make it” kind. My lovely Jem was working, my babe was asleep and I have a mountain of ‘chores’ to do, but I had a sudden realisation: until I had adjusted my mood, my perspective, there was little point attempting anything. In that state, I achieve nothing.
“You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it.”
Dr Wayne W Dyer
Somehow, somewhat instinctively, I knew this. So I took my cup of tea upstairs and curled up on my bed with inspiration. It isn’t hard to find inspiration in this house; we have a veritable library of inspirational authors, but on this occasion it was Wayne Dyer who came to my rescue. I have developed, over the last few months, a faith that I will find help when I need it, and that whichever medium I choose will be right.
A few days ago, in another rare quiet moment, I started reading his 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace. I picked it up again, and lo and behold! he had the very words to soothe me, adjust my perspective and set me free once more.
The past is the past. Leave it behind!
Dwelling on the past, on past injustices, hurts or wrongs, will only keep you in a state of victimhood. Remaining a victim can only keep you locked in the past. And so you end up in a cycle of pain, victimhood, resentment, pain, victimhood… and incapable of being here. Now.
And here and now are all we have!
The past is gone. We can’t know the future. I’ve written about it before, I know, but it bears repeating, if only because it is just too easy to forget. If we spend our time dwelling on the past, or even worrying about the future, we are wasting the precious NOW.
So for now, I am leaving it behind.
Now… off to find the table… I last saw it where that mountain range of paperwork is evolving… 😉