Today I am struggling a little, I’ll admit.
The world I inhabit consists mainly of two camps: those who believe, as do I, in the old adage ‘Live and let live’; and those who feel the need to judge. I grew up with the latter and, these days, surround myself with the former.
I do not for a second deny anyone the right to their own ideas and opinions, although I should add that I often find the ability to research a matter entirely objectively sorely lacking – it’s a challenge for any of us! – but I do object to having opinions and judgments foisted upon me, unbidden and unresearched. I do my utmost, in this life, to give people the ‘benefit’ of my advice only when pressed to do so, and even then I am loath to assume that I know better than they what their situation is or what they ‘should’ do (more on the word should another day). One risks offending or wounding with such actions. If we all trusted one another to make autonomous decisions, even if they turned out to be lessons hard learned, the world would be a less complicated place, I suspect. I am of course aware that I am sounding defensive, but I am trying not to be, trying to make sense of something that I don’t really understand. As I said, I am struggling a little.
We are all of us travellers on this journey. Some of us are further up the road than others. Some of us were provided with less detailed maps or a faulty compass. But we are all, fundamentally, on the same path, whether we are walking it or have set up camp on the verge. And none of us can decide who is right or who is wrong – to try to do such a thing is to deny another’s subjective reality. What is right for one may not suit another, of course. My point is that not one of us can know what another has been through to get to where they are, what their true motivations are, what their journey to this point has entailed, what is in their heart. Not one of us has the same experience as another.
So not one of us has the right to judge.
But in making that statement, am I judging? If you judge me, do I judge you back? I don’t think so. But I will give you a wide berth, since I don’t believe that living in judgement is a constructive way to live. If that is your way, then that is your journey and I respect your right to travel it to its conclusion, but it is a journey without me in it.
(I know, I know… “And this…”) 🙂